Monday, February 23, 2015

The Kraft Dinner Paradigm

Ah, Kraft Dinner.  That fluorescent, creamy, cheesy, ambrosia of children, college kids and self destructive adults alike.  It's quick and easy to make, it's satisfying and if nothing else, a great way to eat away the memory of that terrible break up with that girl who tore your heart out, stomped on it and poured sulfuric acid all over it when she left you for that good for nothing dick-missile two months ago...whore.

The thing about KD is that it's reliable, "good 'ol KD, I can always rely on you." you say to yourself as you desperately dig through your pantry, but when you think about it, the only constant in the cheesy goodness is it's lack of consistency.  I challenge you, ask 5 people...any 5 people; strangers, friends, family...anyone.  Ask them "do you measure your ingredients?" and I'm willing to bet the answer is "no".
"But Marcell, why would I measure ingredients?  It's only KD!"
Wrong!  It's not ONLY KD!  It's a way of life, and the only to yield consistent and positive results every time!  The only way to guarantee you don't end up with a thick, sludgy noodle porridge, gritty chunky unmixed cheesy brick mortar or even worse...the dreaded slurpy-mac.  A vile, watery, mushy doom slick guaranteed to ruin your day.

Doing the right thing sometimes means taking a few extra minutes out of your day, just like you'd take the time to hit the "like" button in your facebook feed to help ensure that cancer kid gets the miracle they need to survive, or dropping a few pennies into the neighbour kid's unicef box on halloween, help end slurpy-mac, measure your damn KD ingredients!

Stay tuned for next time where we discuss the moral evils of crispy bacon

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